Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Okay, maybe I'm biased in my opinion here, but it's seriously appalling how few of my peers can write even decently.  I enjoy writing and reading and always have, and I understand that many other people don't but... come on! 

Did you really, think, this is the appropriate way, to put commas into a sentence?  When is starting a sentence with 'but" or "and" ever acceptable?  Was your third-grade teacher putting wine in her thermos and got too drunk to teach the lesson about the difference between "their" and "there" and "they're"?  I'd bet money that Microsoft Word has a heart attack every time it attempts to correct your research papers.  Just in casually observing my classmates, I no longer think Americans are disadvantaged because we don't learn multiple languages like other countries do.  We are disadvantaged because our country can't even speak one language properly. 

Stop reading trashy "literature" about vampires and a slutty, dramatic girl.  Stop overwriting your iPhone auto correct with drunken twitter hash tags.  Stop listening to rap music and thinking that Nicki Minaj knows the correct pronunciation of anything.  Sign up for an English class.  Better yet, just volunteer at an elementary school and evaluate your confidence level after little Billy out-spells you with his vocab list of three-syllable words and you realize you are not smarter than a 5th grader. 


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