Thursday, February 2, 2012

To The Sucker making Money Off Rocks

Happy Thursday!  Today, around approximately 3:30pm, my weekend begins!  Needless to say, I'm already in that state of mind.  It's a new month, and better than that, it's my birthday month!  Feel free to send me a Birchbox subscription, a year of The Economist, or OPI's "It's Totally Fort Worth It" polish.  Those OPI employees are so clever.  Anyways, I'm a huge birthday brat so I'm sure you will all be hearing about my celebrations endlessly this month.  At least it's a short one!

Recently, I got to thinking about things.  Specifically, things that make money.  Even more specifically, things that make money but that probably shouldn't.  Why the hell are things like dinner shows featuring farm animals profitable?  Who thought that serving food in a place that smells like stables would be a great idea?  The same goes for strip clubs with buffets.  I mean, I get the concept of "everything a man needs in one place" but isn't that just downright disgusting?  Not to mention there should be some kind of food safety law against nipples being so close to your entree. 

And pet rocks.  Some man is just pulling in the big bucks selling rocks.  The entire Earth is made of rocks.  Plus, what a disappointing pet!  They can't even cuddle with you.  Uh, decaf coffee is another thing that just doesn't make sense.  Who says "yeah let me drink some bitter hot stuff just because I love the taste?"  Helloooooo, the whole purpose of coffee is to keep people like me from looking like we belong in a zombie video game every morning.  And finally, rain coats without hoods.  I get that you're supposed to have an umbrella, but then I wouldn't really need the raincoat, now would I?  One of my friends has an obnoxiously expensive raincoat from some designer and do you think he could include an extra flap of fabric to cover your head?  Oh, no.  He probably sells that separately for an additional million dollars.

With that, I'm going to go drink my very caffeinated coffee. 


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