Monday, February 6, 2012

Why The Patriots Are Still The Best

If one more person reminds me that the Giants won the Superbowl, I just may have a conniption fit.  I am well aware, guys.  I watched the entire game.  I saw it with my own two eyes.  You are not Fox Breaking News over here, so please stop repeating ESPN.  And before you say it, yes, I am bitter.  Oh well.

In order to fall asleep without crying my eyes out to visions of Tom Brady crying his eyes out, I had to comfort myself by justifying this terrible loss.  I get that the Giants won, fair and square, but that doesn't mean I can't let my Patriots pride cloud my judgement and send me on a rant of justification. 

The Pats are ranked 31 out of 32 teams for worst defense.  The game was a close won, and the Giants took it by four measly points.  (I get that it only takes one to win, whatever, be quiet.)  Basically, that's like The Situation bragging that he beat up a 12 year old and only suffered a black eye.  In my eyes, the Pats proved that even when they're bad, they're still better than 30 other teams out there. 

Secondly, since when is everyone in Florida a Giants fan?  What the hell?  Don't we have THREE football teams of our own?  Oh, but they all suck, you say?  Bandwagon-Giants-fan, I say.  Enjoy your bandwagon glory.  Weren't you just a die-hard Broncos (coughTebowcough) fan five weeks ago? If I can't be comforted by anything else, at least the Tebowites were silenced by the victory of Brady this season.  I didn't seen Timmy breaking any Superbowl records last night...

Let me also add my three cents on the half-time show.  Firstly, Madonna is fifty-something years old and can still rock.  Whatever negative you have to say about her is just jealousy because you will look like a talentless crypt keeper when you're her age.  I'm just glad it wasn't some annoying, over-played group like LMFAO again.  I may have poked my ear drums out. 

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pout and ignore the fact that I gained 16 pounds from eating an entire bowl of 5-layer dip. 


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