Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Typhoid Fever and Rum Pineapples

So, my anxiety has taken over this week.  I am just a huge messy ball of fidgeting, racing thoughts, and manicure-chewing.  Not to mention the only place I could sleep comfortably last night was my couch.  Weird, because my bed is amazing.  Why, you ask? Well, I think this whole graduation thing is getting to me.  I feel like I have to make the absolute most of my last 3 months, and sometimes that means what I want to do and what I want to do less but am obligated to do conflict.  I get guilty skipping class.  I'm definitely not one to just flake out on responsibilities.  So, instead, I have anxiety fits and break down and get miserable.  It's really a vicious cycle and according to Web MD I'm either getting ulcers or stomach cancer or typhoid fever.  I'm going with the last one. I used to contract it a lot playing Oregon Trail; it's probably still lingering. 

In my haste to make everything this last semester perfect, I've managed to be disappointed in almost every "milestone" possible.  Let me say loud and clear, sound the horns, in black and white: I will be at the local Mexican restaurant on Cinco De Mayo, the day after my graduation, drinking a pitcher of sangria to myself.  Come hell, high water, plagues of locusts, a flood drastic enough to require an arch, or Jesus himself, I will be there.  If you would like to join me, this is your cordial invitation.  

I am wiping my brow and saying a little prayer of thanks that I changed my diploma to reflect my Economics major, instead of my Political Science major.  Oh the perks of being a nerd and having two majors.  Why is that such a big deal?  Well, there are pros and cons to this situation.  The benefit of having my degree say Economics is that I graduate with the College of Business and therefore graduate on May 4th, not May 5th like the College of Sciences does.  Case in point, my family will be done congratulating me by the time the festival of tequila and tortillas rolls around.  The downside to being an Economics major, besides the unfortunate looking males in my classes?  My tassel is the color "drab," which is apparently a really attractive greenish-brown color.  Thank God I look good in just about everything.  No, Herff Jones, I do not want to buy an extra souvenir tassel for 6 million dollars when it is that ugly. 

Did I mention Herff Jones is probably the biggest crock of crap I have ever seen?  They literally rape students worse than the jail scene in American History X for cap and gown rentals, class rings, and random other junk no one needs but costs 16 thousand dollars and is engraved with your graduation year.  (I was going to make a Kite Runner joke, but it was too good of a book to be a jackass about.) 

My saving grace this week is that it is supposed to be gorgeous out this Friday, so I can relax by the pool with a homemade rum pineapple and pretend I'm still on vacation. 


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