Thursday, October 11, 2012

Trapped by My Own Pet Peeve

Happy glorious Thursday morning!  There are a few reasons I've been sorta MIA from writing the past few weeks.  One of those reasons is that I want to hit on a few subjects running through my mind as of late, but I'm still working on how to relay them tactfully.  I know I rant often about things, but I try to keep my ramblings to an only slightly offensive level, not piss everyone off. 

I literally just wrote three paragraphs and erased them, because it was not pretty.  There is no tactful way to express my annoyances with certain things, so I will have to mull over that for a while and get back to you. 

In the meantime...

I hate passive-aggressive behavior. 

Grow some balls.  Please, do not send an email addressing a "reoccurring issue" when it's only one person doing the same damn thing.  And they probably have no idea they are doing it to correct it because no one confronted them and said "hey, bozo, please stop putting the trash can on my side of the curb, it ruins my grass."  Or whatever the situation may be.  Along those same lines, cut it out with the lame notes. 

That's right, females everywhere, living with other females!  Stop writing passive-aggressive notes that you cleaned the kitchen.  Your roommate can tell you cleaned the kitchen because her crap is no longer in the sink.  She may be dirty, but she isn't blind.  No need to scrawl your housewifery on a Post-It.  I've had one rule the past 3 years with every roommate I've lived with: we don't write notes.  I even hate texting that bills are due. 

A very wise woman once told me that no one can be pissed at a smiley-face in a note or a text.  While that logic saved my ass for a plethora of dramatic situations in college, it was ridiculously passive-aggressive and a really cheap way of covering your ass when you want to say something bitchy to someone.  We've all done it.  I'm just saying. 

Also, if you dislike the way my car is parked on the street where I am fully entitled to park, too bad.  Don't leave me a note.  I'm not parked too far from the curb, I'm not blocking traffic, I'm not on your grass (which isn't even your lawn, that little strip of foliage is owned by the county, jackhole.)  Oh, I'm sorry you had to park down the block because I was home before you and I didn't see your name on that spot of tar.  I'm sorry you have nothing better to do with your life than write me a dick-head note on a WalMart receipt. 

And, probably the most passive-aggressive move of our generation is the Facebook de-friending.  Oh, you're mad at me for some ridiculously stupid and petty reason, so you're going to block me form being your "friend" on social media?  Awesome, now I don't have to see your duck-faced photos pop up on my news feed.  It's not like you made any huge statement by banishing me from your circle of acquaintances online.  I figured you were no longer my friend when you told a bunch of other people you hated me because I lived with your big sister.  But, thanks for enlisting the help of Mark Zuckerburg, just to make it clear.  I'll go cry in a corner now... except not... because it's Facebook... and I got over being bumped off the friendship hierarchy when MySpace came out with their Top 8 feature.

And, before you can jump in, yes, I realize this blog post is very passive-aggressive.  Except no one who would read it would be referenced in this.  And, if by some miracle of web-linking they do... long hair don't care.  I'm not trying to accomplish anything here, besides telling you that females are annoying with their half-assed "I'll show her" tendencies. 


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